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KidsKnowRights

Dating violence and protective orders for teens

Abuse in a teen relationship is common, and much of it is emotional, digital, or financial rather than physical. A court order can help, and it works best alongside a safety plan.

Ni John Stavropoulos

Co-Founder and Vice President of KidsKnowRights6 minutong basa

Naghihintay ng pagsusuri ng isang legal professional

Mga paksa:dating violenceprotective ordersstalkingsafety planning

Nagbibigay ang artikulong ito ng pangkalahatang impormasyong pang-edukasyon, hindi legal na payo para sa iyong sitwasyon. Hindi law firm ang KidsKnowRights, at ang pagbasa ng artikulong ito ay hindi lumilikha ng ugnayang abogado-kliyente. Nagkakaiba ang batas depende sa estado, edad, at mga pangyayari, at nagbabago ito sa paglipas ng panahon. Para sa payo tungkol sa totoong sitwasyon, makipag-usap sa isang lisensyadong abogado o sa isang legal aid organization.

Hindi pa naisasalin ang buong teksto ng pahinang ito, kaya nakalagay ito sa Ingles sa ibaba. Naisalin na ang buod, mga label, at impormasyong pangkaligtasan sa itaas.

A 16-year-old in Albuquerque breaks up with her boyfriend. He texts her dozens of times a night, shows up at the burger place where she works, and posts that she will 'regret it.' She wonders if this is serious enough to matter. It is. What he is doing has a name, and in many states a court can order him to stay away.

Dating violence is more than hitting

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) names four types. Physical violence is hitting, kicking, or other force. Sexual violence includes forcing sexual acts and sharing intimate images without permission. Psychological aggression is words or actions meant to hurt a partner emotionally or control them. Stalking is repeated, unwanted contact that makes a person afraid, like the texts and visits to work in Albuquerque.

It happens often. In the CDC's 2021 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, about 1 in 12 high school students who had dated in the past year reported physical dating violence, and about 1 in 10 reported sexual dating violence.

What a protective order does

A protective order (also called a restraining order) is a civil court order, not a criminal charge, that tells a person to stop contacting you and stay away from places like your home, school, or job. Breaking it can lead to arrest.

The process usually has two steps. A judge can first sign a temporary order, based on your account. A hearing follows, where both sides can speak, and the judge decides whether to issue a longer order.

State law decides whether dating partners qualify and whether a teen can ask alone. Some states let a minor file without an adult. Others require a parent or another adult to file for the teen. We could not confirm one national rule, because there is none, so ask your local court clerk or a domestic violence program how it works where you live.

An order is a tool, not a guarantee

In Town of Castle Rock v. Gonzales (2005), a mother in Colorado had a restraining order against her estranged husband, and police did not act on her calls before he killed their three daughters. The U.S. Supreme Court held that she had no constitutional right to force police enforcement of the order.

That case is hard to read. The practical point is this: a protective order works best with a safety plan. Carry a copy. Report every violation, even small ones. Tell your school and your employer so they know who is not allowed near you.

Where to start tonight

Mahalaga

If you are in danger right now, call 911. Otherwise, reach love is respect, the national helpline for young people: call 1-866-331-9474, text LOVEIS to 22522, or chat on its website. Advocates there can help you make a safety plan and find local help, including someone who can go with you to court.

Start saving proof now. Screenshot texts and posts with the date showing, and keep a simple log of each incident. Judges rely on this at the hearing.

Be careful with your devices. The love is respect site itself warns that browser history can be monitored. If your ex knows your passwords, change them from a device they have never touched.

Tandaan ito

  • The CDC counts physical, sexual, and psychological abuse and stalking as dating violence.
  • A protective order is a civil order; whether a teen can file alone depends on the state.
  • Castle Rock v. Gonzales (2005) is why an order should come with a safety plan and a copy in your bag.
  • Call 1-866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522, and save dated screenshots of every message.

Mga pinagmulan

Nagbibigay ang artikulong ito ng pangkalahatang impormasyong pang-edukasyon, hindi legal na payo para sa iyong sitwasyon. Hindi law firm ang KidsKnowRights, at ang pagbasa ng artikulong ito ay hindi lumilikha ng ugnayang abogado-kliyente. Nagkakaiba ang batas depende sa estado, edad, at mga pangyayari, at nagbabago ito sa paglipas ng panahon. Para sa payo tungkol sa totoong sitwasyon, makipag-usap sa isang lisensyadong abogado o sa isang legal aid organization.